


Snarkfest 2013

by Bluesy_Deth



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluesy_Deth/pseuds/Bluesy_Deth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone were keeping score who would be winning the unofficial Snarkfest 2013?*<br/>Unrelated snarky moments in the lives of the Avengers.</p><p> </p><p>*Clint's probably got a betting pool going but I'm not gonna touch that!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a Kermit flail if you're not as cool as Nick Mother-Fuckin' Fury:  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlJM4UhbQ7A

Debriefing the team after a training session wasn't the best idea, especially if something had gone poorly. Nick was characteristically rude about Tony's outburst toward the Junior Agents who messed up. He specifically ridiculed the inventor's body language using the phrase "Kermit flail." Tony pounced on the phrase and called him out on it- doubtful the Director knew what it meant.

Nick snorted, "I've seen The mother-fuckin' Muppets, Mr. Stark. That shit's hilarious."

"That's childish and no one uses that phrase in conversation," Tony shot back, somehow without embarrassment considering his own behavior.

"Friend of mine used it on Facebook just the other day."

Tony sputtered, nonplussed, "You're on Facebook?"

Nick gave a withering glance, "Yeah, you can find me under Nick Mother-Fuckin' Fury. We can be friends and 'like' each other.  
Dumbass."

Fury - 1, Stark - 0


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was hijacking yet another team meeting; he really only behaved during pre-mission briefings on the rare occasions they had time for one. Today's rant was aimed at Nick tightening the reins on how much access Jarvis got to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s servers. Translation: the IT Department had found another of Tony's bugs and destroyed it so he wasn't getting as much illicit access as usual. 

They were facing each other down the length of the conference table, Tony looking relaxed in his chair and Nick leaning forward with both palms on the smooth wood surface. 

"So help me, Stark, if I find another of your damn spy programs in my servers I'm going to personally-" Nick raged. 

Tony interrupted, "You know, Fury, if you're gonna be my personal asshole you should probably stick closer to me so I can wipe after I use you."

Fury - 1, Stark - 1


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony would totally watch "Xena: Warrior Princess" and who didn't find Joxer's theme song to be a real earworm?  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OWM1rrbb1o

Why did Nick even have meetings with Tony present? Once again, Tony was arguing that the Avengers needed a theme song but this time he had a point. 

"I'm sick of Legolas belting out Kelly Clarkson's 'People Like Us' over the comms during missions."

Clint laughed, "At least I'm up-to-date, Stark!" He smiled wickedly and began to sing, "Joxer the Mighty, roams through the countryside, he never needs a place to hide..."

Tony looked as embarrassed as he was capable of and pointed a finger at the archer, "So help me, Barton, you don't stay out of my vents and I'm going to electrify them!"

Fury - 1, Stark - 1, Barton - 1


End file.
